Collar-Up Marty

Hey! Welcome back! I am back at work today. Boo! But this blog is back also. Yeah! Any how look at what's going on here. Mr Principal is telling Marty that he is a failure! I know a little bit about education and motivating young people and all, and this is clearly not the way to do it. This guy needs to go to the Mr. Belding school of principaling! You need to be buddy-buddy with the kids these days. They respond to that sort of stuff. You catch more flies with fly candy than vinegar!

I never noticed it before, but Marty reminds me of a certain guy I know who likes to play guitar and pop his collar. I think this guy I know stole his style from Marty. How can I prove this?

Late Night with Marvin Berry

This is a picture of Marvin Berry and the Star Lighters. They are rocking out! I didn't draw the piano player because I didn't think I could. I tried a couple of times and it didn't work out. So just imagine him over there on the left. These guys rule. If I were to have my own chat show I think I would get these guys to be my house band! I think I could riff with the saxophone player. He seems like a cool guy. It would probably go something like this.....

Me: "Politics, did you hear about this today saxophone guy? John McCain was heckled today at a rally. (Pause for laughter) but he didn't hear it because he is old."

Saxophone guy: "I don't know what that means, I am from the 1950's"

Me: "Oh. Yeah, I forgot. Well, he's running for president, and, uh, well, he is pretty old, and, I guess that's funny, and...uh..."

Forget that! I need a different house band! Sorry Starlighters!

The Soda Jerk

Hey. Is it a requirement that all soda fountain guys have to be turds? I know they're called Jerks and all but come on. This guy has a real attitude. Is there a line on the application that says "Describe your general demeanor"? Do they just hire the guys with the worst interview? Is this how Don Rickles got his start? So many questions, not enough time.

Honor thy Father's Follicles

Did somebody mention time travel? I got stuck in the 1920's last night, as I was forced to urinate in a troth! I didn't know that the troth-urinal still existed! You'd think with all of the money that Major League Baseball brings in the Cubs could afford to upgrade there restroom facilities. But no, Wrigley field is a giant Delorean that transports you back to the turn of the century.

Yikes! Marty's brother Dave just kissed George on the head before he left for work at Burger King! That's a very nice thing for a child to do to a parent. But he ruins the moment by making a comment about his fathers hair. Or, more specifically, the product that George has placed in his hair! That's not cool Dave! You're grounded. If I was George I would have said "Oh yeah, nice outfit Ronald MacDonald, you are a failure! I can't believe you are my child." That would have put him in his place!

Who can afford to change the oil anyway? Have you seen how much it costs these days? Here comes the future!

It's a Scare-Crow not a Scare-Car

Hi! Welcome to the future! So guess what? The hotel has the Internet! You want to know what else? I think I time travelled last night! When I got on the plane it was 8 o'clock. I was on the plane for two hours but when I got off the plane it was only 9 o'clock! What happened to that other hour? Wait a minute? Is it still 2008?

Anyway, look at this drawing! As soon as Marty time travelled he decided it would be a good idea to crash into a scarecrow! As soon as I was done time travelling I decided to grab a taxi to the hotel. I think that is a smarter way to deal with the effects of time travel!

Do scarecrows really work? If all the crows were scared where would they go? Do they make Scare other things? I could have used a Scare-homework when I was in school! Or maybe a Scare-soccer goalie! See you in the future! I think.

Make like a candle and wax!

Welcome to the future! Look what happens when you mess with the time space continuum Marty! When you get back to 1985, Biff is waxing your dad's new fancy car! Wait, that's actually a pretty cool side effect. I'll take a panda driven tank that shoots lasers please!

I don't know why they keep this Biff guy around anyway. He seems like a bad apple! I am sure he waxes a mean car and all, but didn't he taunt the crap out of you in high school George? And didn't he try to force himself on you Loraine? Why keep a bully like that in your life? I guess there is some sort of perverse pleasure in watching the guy who used to make your life a living hell do manual labor for you, but still I don't think I would go out of my way to find a place for Biff in my life. Do you think the Karate Kid pays Johnny to rake his leaves! Or Arnold from Diff'rent Strokes hired the "Gooch" to pick up his dry cleaning. (very tiny dry cleaning) No they wouldn't do that. Because that would be stupid. Wise up George!

On a more human, nuts-and-bolts note, I am leaving for Chicago this afternoon. Hopefully the place where I am staying has the Wi-Fi. If it doesn't there will be no posts until Friday. Sorry. I could always wrangle up a time machine in the distant future, and then go back in time to tomorrow to make a post!

Uncle Butthead

Hi! Look at this. Marty just told his nine year old uncle Milton that he has two televisions. The kid can't believe it! Marty must be rich! But look who the surprised kids is. It's Wayne Arnold! Kevin's brother from The Wonder Years! That's crazy! I was waiting for Milton to call Marty a "Scroat". But it doesn't happen, unfortunately. This guy must only act in period pieces. Have you ever seen him in anything that was set in the modern era? Besides "Scott Baio is 45 and..." that doesn't count. And don't go check IMDB either to find something he was in. I'll know if you do that.

I wish I had a coon skin hat! Those things are pretty damn cool! You don't see them around anymore! I bet it has something to do with vegetarians or something.

Time Flies when your not on film

Hi people! This is an attempt at an action drawing. I think it is awesome! Doc is sliding down the wire so that he can reconnect it at the bottom. But he better hurry because here comes the delorean! Is it just me or does Doc Brown not really age all that much between 1955 and 1985? He looks almost exactly the same. In fact when I draw the two Docs, I don't make any major changes. And it doesn't seem like his life or lifestyle changes at all in those thirty years either. Its as if as soon as Marty leaves to go back to 1985, Doc goes into hibernation or something! The passing of time confuses me.

Pretty McFly, for a white guy.

George, George, George. You meant to say "You are my destiny" Oops! This guy is not smooth with the ladies! Density and destiny are two different things. Density is the ratio between mass and volume. Destiny means that something is meant to be! Most modern thinkers don't believe in destiny anyway George. Ever heard of a little something called free will?

This opening line was doomed from the start. He should have said something like "Hey Loraine, you sure know how to fill out that 1950's era purple polka dot dress." or "Hey, You wanna go to china town with me?" or "You fuel the flame in my bunsen burner!"

Mom! Stop looking at my junk!

UH OH! Marty's(Calvin)teenage mom is ogling his tightie-purplies! How embarrassing. Purple underwear. Purple underwear! What teenage boy in 1985 or 1955 wears purple underwear? In 1985 I was 6. I wore superman underoos. I wasn't alive in 1955. But if I were I'd probably have worn some sort of rough flannel or burlap type underwear. Ouch! At least that's my understanding of unmentionables in the 50's.

Incidentally, have you ever seen a door in the absolute corner of a room? Or a bed in the middle of the room? My bad. See you in the future!

Marvin Berry? or Marcus Garvey?

Welcome back! The 3D glasses thug just called Marvin Berry a racial name! Marvin isn't happy about it and calls 3D guy a 'Peckerwood'. Oh snap! This sort of thing is not cool. The segregation of 1950's America is barely mentioned in BTTF. Its hinted at once or twice, but overall I think the film makers dropped the ball on this one. One has to wonder if the cries for help coming from the trunk of the car are from Marty, or if they are pleas of equality from a torn society?

Hey! Isn't Peckerwood a funny word! I think I am going to put that one into my daily rotation of insults! "Hey! you just cut me off- Peckerwood!"

The substitute

Good afternoon! It's later than usual. I've been busy. To the drawing.
How come every time something cool is happening on Marty's skateboard we get a close shot of a shoe? This screams of a stunt double! Sometimes I wish I had a stunt double. Like when I was 13 and my dad wanted me to cut the grass! I didn't like to do that.

Anonymous is a jerk!!

Good Morning! Look at these jerks kicking George in the Butt! That is not cool. Just because a sign says something doesn't mean you have to do it. And what's with that girl in the background pointing. Hasn't anybody ever told her 'when you point your finger at someone there are three fingers pointing back at you?' I hate the teenagers of the 50's.

Let them eat cake

Hi everyone! What a shame! Loraine made this cake for Uncle Joey, but he didn't make parole again. I wonder what Uncle Joey did to end up in prison? It's a mystery I guess. I don't know why, but I really like this Uncle Joey character. If only somebody with access to a time machine could go back in time and prevent his life of crime. Perhaps a family member? Just saying...

Isn't it bad luck to eat from a cake who's sentiments didn't come true? I wouldn't feel right eating a cake that said "Happy Graduation Gilbert!" if it turned out Gilbert failed his finals. Or, "Happy 25th Anniversary Carlos and Wanda!" if Wanda had recently passed. You will never see me eating from a cursed cake! No matter how tasty it might be. Unless it's an ice cream cake!

The Flush Capacitor

Happy Monday! It's hot out! Here's a drawing for your general refreshment. It's better than a snowcone! This scene isn't actually shown in the movie, but Doc does describe it. So from Doc's mouth, to my head, to your eyes, here it is.

While trying to hang a clock (There's that time motif again!) Doc slips and hits head on the sink. When he comes to he has a vision of a Flux Capacitor! Wow. Is that really Doc Brown's creative process? No trial and error. No scientific method. Just knock yourself out and have visions of things? I wonder what Biff saw after George punched him out? Did he come up with a formula for cold fusion? And what about when Loraine's father hit Marty with a car. Did Marty envision some sort of perpetual motion device? Highly unlikely!

This is just further evidence towards my assertion that Doc Brown is Wacky, and probably not some one an impressionable teenager like Marty McFly should be hanging out with!

The Absent Minded Professor

Welcome back(to the future) ! Look out! 'Doc' Brown is at it again. This is another one of his crazy inventions. It appears to be some sort of automatic dog feeding apparatus. But where's Einstein! And why hasn't he invented some sort of floor cleaning device? This strikes of dog neglect! I don't know what Emmitt Brown is a doctor of, but I doubt it is veterinary medicine! Let me see your diploma.

I am Lover Not a Fighter.

Wow! This scene is intense. Yesterday, commenter Hammersandrogerstein commented on Doc's 'malformed hand'. So in an effort to feed your hand fetish- today's drawing is dedicated to you Hammersandrogerstein!

As Biff laughs, and Loraine pleas, George balls up his fist and prepares to lay a hurting on his tormentor. I have exaggerated George's fist in order to illustrate the stored up power that is about to reign down upon Biff. Further, I have also showed George's hand-hammer in an enlargement box as if to say "Biff, prepare to have your skull penetrated." I almost drew George with Wolverine claws but they don't actually show that in the movie. On the other hand they don't explicitly state that he doesn't have Wolverine claws. So maybe I could of gotten away with it. Artistic License rules!

Doc Around The Clock!!!

Oh my! This might be the most dramatic scene in the whole movie! Doc is barely hanging onto the clock while trying to reconnect the power chords, so the time machine will have the 1.21 gigawatts it needs to work! It seems like an impossible task. Will he reconnect them before time runs out? Get it? Time running out. Hanging from a clock. (That's symbolism Homes!) It's all dependent on time. Plus, the time travel aspect. Whoa. Everything is intertwined. The guys who wrote this were pretty bright!

What's up with those creepy looking gargoyles! They're scary looking. I am going to have nightmares tonight!

11!

Yikes! Have you ever played a guitar so loud that it caused you to fly across the room? That's intense! I wouldn't be surprised if Marty had some sort of internal bleeding as a result of this! I've played guitar before and this never happens. This is very unrealistic. It might be the most unrealistic thing about this whole movie. Well, there is the whole time travel thing too. That's a little unrealistic.

Maybe Huey Lewis was right. Maybe Marty is "Just too darn loud." I am sorry I came down on you last week Huey Lewis. I spoke out of turn. If you'll have me, I'd like to be your friend again. see you in the future!

...And the Pulitzer goes to...

Hi everyone! I was sick so I took the weekend off. I might do that from now on. I am not sure yet.

Look! George's first book just arrived from the publisher! It's called "A Match Made In Space" They don't really tell us what it's about, but judging from the cover I'd say it's probably about a young woman in the reconstruction era American south coming to grips with the societal changes happening around her. Wait a minute George! That sounds a lot like "Gone With the Wind". That George McFly is a real carpetbagger! Til Tuesday!